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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24211144">it's a habit</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelylapin/pseuds/lovelylapin'>lovelylapin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Finale spoilers, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, S5 spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:15:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>870</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24211144</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelylapin/pseuds/lovelylapin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>it's a habit when it comes to adora, or so, that's how catra sees it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>160</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it's a habit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra thinks about Adora way more than she should. Way more than <em>anyone</em> should, if she’s being honest. She thinks about her in the same way she thinks about breathing or putting one foot in front of the other as she walks; so often and so used to it she thinks of it as less of a habit and more of a reflex as time goes by.</p><p>Of course, she’d never admit it, not even when it becomes clear to everyone else. She can’t. Speaking it into existence would be letting <em>her</em> win, letting <em>her</em> have one more thing handed over.</p><p>So, Catra sucks it up. She hisses and growls and lets her nails attack the walls, leaving deep scratches everywhere she goes. Lines that, over time, seem like they’ve always been there. She walks around with a chip in her shoulder, a chip that’s as big on the hole she’s left in the universe. Catra walks around like she owns the place, and maybe she does, but it still doesn’t hide the fact someone’s on her mind, someone she hasn’t been able to get her hands on completely.</p><p>Adora. Her dumb face. That stupid puffed up bit of hair that she always perfected first thing in the morning, usually with a toothbrush peeking out of her mouth and almost always with Lonnie yelling for her to get away from the sink so the rest of them could get ready. Those big blue eyes, which always seemed to shine a bit more whenever she was in combat.</p><p>Those eyes, that had never looked so cold when the distance between them was too much.</p><p>It’s hard to forget about her, to break out of the pattern and leave the memories where they belonged – in the past and away from sight. But Catra can’t help it after all. It’s her way of coping, her own form of therapy that’s better and stronger and so much more <em>powerful</em> than anything else someone could offer her, that’ll become truer the more she repeats it to herself.</p><p>Or it would have, anyways.</p><p>With time, everything slowly changes. Her greatest weakness, a flaw by any other name, finally begins to shift into something else. <em>Adora</em> finally begins to shift, new and old feelings coming together to take over the pain and heartbreak that Catra had long since convinced herself were good enough reasons to act out and attack and try in <em>vain</em> to get her revenge, whatever that may be.</p><p>Catra’s not really sure if she even had an idea of what she ever really wanted throughout it all, other than one person, other than <em>her</em>.</p><p>Adora had that effect though. She was able to unite people from all over, to gather under one shared cause and fight to freedom, to sacrifice all she could if only it led to another day of freedom for others. Anyone around her for too long could get entranced by it all, swept in by the stories told by others and wooed by everything else that made up Adora. Get even closer, and it didn’t seem so outlandish to think that someone could fall in love.</p><p>That was maybe the hardest part of it all for Catra to try and ignore, to bury down under it all.</p><p>It’s not until everything changes and Catra’s gone from the opposing side to by Adora’s side, Etheria restored to its old glory and the universe relieved of Prime’s reign, that she’s learnt to embrace it, to allow her heart to open up and rest on her sleeve for the world to see. Gain peace of mind in ways she never expected, in her body curling up against someone else’s at night once more and waking up next to warmth in the morning, looking into the blonde hair and blue eyes she had long committed to memory. To spend nights outside and curled at the base of a tree, staring up into the night sky and smiling up at it, not in malice but solace.</p><p>It’s wonderful. Strange and new and exciting all at once, it was more than enough to drown anyone unable to adapt. A while ago Catra herself wouldn’t have stood a chance, sinking in amidst the change and losing herself to the depths of it all with a mind too preoccupied with thoughts of revenge and pain and <em>Adora</em> to do anything else.</p><p>Now however, it was different. The thoughts and memories of before didn’t seem so troubling now, no longer a sign of weakness and in desperate need of being erased. No, instead they’re a reminder to Catra of not only what it took to save the world, but what it took to save <em>themselves</em>, destroying the Heart while giving each other theirs.</p><p><em>Love</em>, Catra thinks. <em>Nothing more, nothing less.</em></p><p>There’s another reminder of that as well, sitting right next to her and holding on tightly to her hand, eyes alit and mouth moving quickly as she spoke on about an old mission to the others. She’s everything to Catra, as necessary to her as an intake of breath and yet, in the same moment, still not enough.</p><p>It was Adora, after all. There was no one like her.</p>
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